Going CRAZY

I'm sure you have all guessed that I am losing my mind without my little one here. Friday when I dropped them off at the airport I was EXTREMLY close to driving off as soon as Duncan stepped out of the car. I did very well. I did get lost when I was driving back to post. My eyes were watering something terrible, damn allergies! OK, OK... so I was crying, and not paying attention to the signs. Can you blaim me? There has not been one person that I have talked to since they have left that has not said "You ACTUALLY let them go?" All I can say is "Yeah..." while i'm thinking "I KNOW!!! I must want to be sent back to Napa and put into the Napa State hospital!" (The state nut house for those that don't know.)
I haven't been able to sit still since they have left. All day at work on Friday everyone was asking what was wrong. They are used to me being positive and smiling, which was not the case yesterday. I told them Kalie has left me for the next 5 days. They were surprised I was doing as good as I was. After work I paced the floors of this lonley house until CSI came on. I watched 2 hours of that... sort of. I still couldn't sit still and that's my favorite show. I got to talk to her before she went to bed and sounded like her normal, happy self. Her grandma has a nursery in her home and the crib has the same theme as Makayla's room, so i'm sure she felt comfortable.
Ok... I have done 4 loads of laundry, washed and rewashed my dishes and her bottles, have scrubbed my bathroom and kitchen, refolded all of Duncan's close in his drawers (it never stays that way), reorganized mine and Kayla's drawers, and cleaned random things such as garbage cans and cabinets! I can think of a million other things I can clean... so im outta here. I have been sitting to long.

Look at that daddy's girl in the making. I love that smile... and miss it SO much.
Pray for me... i'm going CRAZY!