Missing my girl

I'm sure you all know that I am missing my girl so I guess I don't have to title this entry with it. I have never been so happy that the weekend is over. Just about every Monday I wake up thinking "Your kidding... right?" But I have discovered that the alarm never lies. Especially when I spend 20 min. ever Sunday night debating weather I missed a day of the weekend or not.
Today didn't really go as I planned. I planned on staying busy ALL day hoping to keep my mind busy. In reality I did NOTHING... and I do mean NOTHING. I inspected 4 trucks at 4:30am, but the rest of the day was history. Me and a girl I work with sat in my car all morning and talked. We did go inspect another truck, but that only took about 30 mins.
We did PT (physical training) and I am actually getting more confident in my strength, so that was a plus. I might just pass my PT test next month.
After PT I discovered how crazy I have actually become. When driving to my house you come to a stop sign and you have to turn left. Well, from that stop sign you can see where Duncan and I park our cars. Well, his car has been sitting there since Thursday night, and I know this because I dropped him off at the airport. For some reason when I turned the corner I was over come with excitement when I saw his car. I just KNEW that my baby was in this house waiting for me. What a disappointment when I discovered it was all just part of the craziness taking over my brain.
Tomorrow I leave for Indianapolis, so wish me luck. I won't have my house to clean a dozen times or a million pictures of Makayla framed all over the entertainment center. I will be in a hotel with a swimming pool so maybe there is hope. SHOOT... I don't have a bathing suit. Well... just keep the prayers coming.

Gotta love music

Today started off really slow. The fact that I didn't go to bed until around 6am is probably a major reason. I got up around 11 and told myself that I was not going to pace the floors of this house again all day today. So there I was walking back and forth up stairs. Not pacing, but walking back and forth. *wink* After making and remaking my bed, taking a shower and scrubbing the tub, (As if that thing can get any cleaner.) I got dressed and migrated down stairs. I sat down and listen to the new neighbors outside with their children. They just moved in last week and they have 3 daughters. I was tempted to ask if I could borrow just one of them. Instead I e-mailed Diyosa and asked her if I could borrow Yani for a few days. So what do you say? I promise I will have her back to you by Friday night! LOL
Well, instead of plotting on how to temporarily kidnap someone's child I decided to go to Target. On the way I realized I could BLAST my music and listen to all the rap that I don't listen to with Kalie in the car. So there I was... flying down 31W, (rap makes me speed... don't ask why) wondering, "How in the world did I use to enjoy this?" So I turned it down, and slowed down. (Maybe it's loud music that makes me speed. *shrug*) Either way it made me starting thinking of all the music that I love, and the "tag" that was given to me a long time ago by Diyosa. Here let me check........ May 25th to be exact. What a procrastinator! So here we go:

1. Total volume of music files on my computer? As much as I love music I have none on my computer. I recently had to resent my computer to its original state and I lost all my music.
2. The last CD I bought was? More like CDS: Pretty Ricky "Blue Stars", Greatest 90's hits, WOW Gospel, Mariah Carey "Emancipation of Mimi", and the new Bobby Valentino.
3. Song playing right now: SWV "Weak" I know... I know... that is hella old! It's on that Greatest 90s hits CD.
4. Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me: I really love inspirational/ motivational music. Lets see, the first 5 songs that pop into my head are Mariah Carey "Hero" and "Anytime You need a friend", Destiny's Child "Survivor" and "Independent Woman", Brandy's "Movin' on" and "Top of the world", and Will Smith's "Just the two of us". OK... so that's more like 7. Be happy I stopped there, cause I could go on for days. I love music! I would listen to music rather than watch TV any day. The Brandy and Destinys Child songs have all been played dozens of times in a row in the past. Thay have all helped me get through really hard times in my life.
5. Ok, now it's my turn to tag 5 people. Let's start with Duncan's sister Jessica, the other Jessica, Steve from high school, and Phaedra. That's her real name. I think it's so cool. Plus Crista and Randi... you guess were tagged with. I guess yall are as bad as me with the procrastination.
Well, I will probably be back later but for now I am going to get something to eat.

Starving at 4:30am

That's right, it's just about 4:30 in the morning, and I have yet to go to bed. OK... so I knew I was going to have a hard time with Makayla being gone but DAMN!!! This is getting ridiculous. I have been up for going on 21 hours and am not even close to being sleepy. I did force myself to lay down. I couldn't sleep, so I watched a couple episodes of Girlfriends (haven't seen that show in forever). After forcing myself to turn that off and laying in the bed for about 45 mins I discoved I was hungry. So here I am.... eating Ramen Noodles... blogging about nothing. My brain isn't functioning, but it seems to be going a million miles a second.
Alright... now that I have something in my stomach I can go to bed and sleep peacefully.
Wishful hoping... I know! Just keep praying for me guys... I have 5 more days to go. (that almost brought a tear.) :-(

Going CRAZY

I'm sure you have all guessed that I am losing my mind without my little one here. Friday when I dropped them off at the airport I was EXTREMLY close to driving off as soon as Duncan stepped out of the car. I did very well. I did get lost when I was driving back to post. My eyes were watering something terrible, damn allergies! OK, OK... so I was crying, and not paying attention to the signs. Can you blaim me? There has not been one person that I have talked to since they have left that has not said "You ACTUALLY let them go?" All I can say is "Yeah..." while i'm thinking "I KNOW!!! I must want to be sent back to Napa and put into the Napa State hospital!" (The state nut house for those that don't know.)
I haven't been able to sit still since they have left. All day at work on Friday everyone was asking what was wrong. They are used to me being positive and smiling, which was not the case yesterday. I told them Kalie has left me for the next 5 days. They were surprised I was doing as good as I was. After work I paced the floors of this lonley house until CSI came on. I watched 2 hours of that... sort of. I still couldn't sit still and that's my favorite show. I got to talk to her before she went to bed and sounded like her normal, happy self. Her grandma has a nursery in her home and the crib has the same theme as Makayla's room, so i'm sure she felt comfortable.
Ok... I have done 4 loads of laundry, washed and rewashed my dishes and her bottles, have scrubbed my bathroom and kitchen, refolded all of Duncan's close in his drawers (it never stays that way), reorganized mine and Kayla's drawers, and cleaned random things such as garbage cans and cabinets! I can think of a million other things I can clean... so im outta here. I have been sitting to long.

Look at that daddy's girl in the making. I love that smile... and miss it SO much.
Pray for me... i'm going CRAZY!

Not enough time with the fam...

We and Makayla made it back to Kentucky safe and sound. Sorry Aunty Rose and Aunty Louise... I know I should have called as soon as we touched down. I have never been good at that. I remember leaving their houses late at night and telling them I would call when I got home.... and never would. What can I say... after an hour or so of driving there would be a million other thoughts in my head. Don't worry, I'm sure it will come back to haunt me when Kayla is a teenager. :-)
We had a GREAT trip. I finally got to meet my sister and Nephew.

They are so great. The more time I spent with them, the more I got mad at myself for waiting this long to meet them. I missed out on so much because I am such a procrastinator. I never realized how quick time was passing. My nephew was 1 years old when me and Tiff first started talking. Now he is 14! I can't believe I missed all that! Well, there is not point in kicking myself in the butt now. We have united and we WILL see eachother on a regular basis.

Their flight to Cali was a first for both of them, and they did great. I think my nephew did a little better than my sister, but she made it and thats all that matters. We spent all of our time together. The only time me and my sister were seperated was when I went to the store to get Kalie some more formula. We went to San Fransico together. Going over the Bay Bridge was a first for them. I think it was the first big bridge they had ever been on. Tiffany couldn't get enough of the scenery. She really loved looking at the mountains. I enjoyed showing them around because it made me look at thing that I have always seen, in a new way.
The family reunion was also great. There were soooo many of us, and the whole family wasn't even there.

We had so much food it was ridiculous. These 2 tents had 3 tables each and all the tables were FULL of food. We had everything from hot dogs and hambugers to ribs and greens. And lets not forget all the sweets. Yum... is all I can say. I think we ended up having to throw some of it out.

We were sort of rushed out of the camp ground area that was reserved for us, but we still had fun. It was nice to see people that I hadn't seen in a while, and meet people that I had never meet before. For most of the people there, the only way I knew we were related was because of our purple shirts.
Here is me and Tiff. Don't we look a like? Now I know what I would look like if I had dark skin... and she knows what she would look like with light skin. hahaha

And here is my hansome nephew! Is it just me or does he look A LOT older than 14? You should hear his voice! He sounds a lot older than 14 too.

And as you can see Kaylie had her little family reunion shirt also. We had her stylin with the knot on the side. To cute!

This is the only picture I have of me and Makayla together. Usually she is all about the camera but of course today she has something else... more interesting to make faces at.

In this picture, from left to right is my Aunty Rose, Aunty Ruby and Aunty Louise.

Our family picnic was on the 4th of July, so we didn't go out anywhere to see the fireworks. We did get to see a few around the city while we were drivng to my cousins house that night. I always love to see Fireworks over the water around San Fransico. I think those are the best.
One of the family reunion events was a trip to Paramounts Great America. I went on a few of the rides with my little cousins, but could not convince my nephew to get on any of them. Tiffany said from the begining that she didn't ride roller coasters, so I never presured her. She enjoyed watching her niece.

Heres is a couple of pictures of the kids acting silly, but having fun.



Hey look... me and Makayla got to take a picture with a famous..... dog?

Here are a few of my cousins. From left to right is Tanya, Shauntel, and Pooh.

Here is Pooh and her son Dejon. Now... Pooh and Duncan have had conversations through me. Well, when he saw this picture he was like "That's Pooh?!?! Dang... your cousin looks GOOD!!"

In these pictures my little cousin Patricia is helping me keep Kayla in her night time routine. She helped me with her bath, by brushing her hair after.

She also read her a couple of bed time stories. I was impressed at how well she could read. She's so sweet.

Here is Makayla playing with her cousin little Johnny. I thought Makayla was chunky... until I saw this boy. Surprisingly he can walk on this huge legs of his. It wasn't really the size of his legs that made me think "he shouldn't be walking!" It was how bowed they are. I have to get the other picture of him up here for you guys to see. He is SUPER bow legged, but SUPER cute!

Now I know I uploaded more pictures than that! It took me 3 days just to get all the pics up here. I will go ahead and publish this because there are a few people out there that I told this would be done before last weekend was over. OOPS. Well, with Makayla leaving this week all I wanted to do was spend time with her. Tomorrow morning Duncan and Makayla fly out. I will get into how I feel on another post. I have already dropped enough tears for one night. I will also put those other pictures up and get the the tag that was given to me a LONG time ago. All I will have is time.... lonely time.