Really I shouldn’t be like that… REALLY!... I love the fact that I am a Mother. I absolutely adore the two people on this earth that have given me that title. I am SOOO lucky for what I DO have, but this day always makes me think about what I DON’T have! Today seemed especially horrible. I think because I now have NO parents… none! Not even the one I rarely saw and had a half-assed relationship with while he was here! My dad passed away on the 19th of last month, and even though today is Mothers day I couldn’t help but think about them both. While I am happy that my dad was able to meet my kids, it SUCKS that they will never know him. Makayla is 5, but I am absolutely positive when she is older, and shares the story of her grandparents, my mom and dad will be skipped over with a quick “I never met my mom’s mom, and I met my mom’s dad when I was a kid, but I don’t remember it.”
I secretly hoped and prayed that starting my day with Church, which I haven’t been to in YEARS, would somehow make the day deal-able. Well, let me tell you this… Church is nowhere near the same when you are holding a nonstop squirming 7 month old, and constantly telling a 5 year old to sit still and be quiet. I did enjoy it, but I felt more frustrated when I left that when I arrived.
So here it is 9pm, and I am sadly… happy that this day is over. Not that tomorrow my mom and dad won’t be on my mind, but at least when I look at my phone, check facebook, or read my e-mails there will not be CONSTANT reminders that I am now a parentless parent.
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1 comment:
Oh Mel, I am so sorry, I can't imagine how hard Mother's Day must be for you.
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